


let it disappear (i'm right there with you)

by worthitandchill



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Adam Knows All, Feelings Realization, Fluff, M/M, Podfic Available, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 09:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14258082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worthitandchill/pseuds/worthitandchill
Summary: They’re in Hawaii when Andrew leans against Steven and thinks,oh.





	let it disappear (i'm right there with you)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this other than [this soft ass set of pictures](https://demonproofboi.tumblr.com/post/172726210168/i-was-not-ready-for-any-of-the-softness-of-this) made my brain short circuit. 
> 
> I wrote this in about an hour and a half on a time crunch, and it's unbeta'd, so please go easy on any mistakes/inaccuracies. The Hawaii episode just killed me, man. I can't say anything else.
> 
> 2:43 AM EDIT: I went back added about three hundred or so words of content as well as fixing any previous issues. Hope you all enjoy <3
> 
> Title from the song [Onwards](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw9ulzlnmrM) by Francis Moon. I recommend listening while reading.

Hawaii doesn’t feel real.

There’s something subtle about it, an unseen shift that seems to happen when they first step off the plane. Andrew doesn’t realize it, doesn’t even get an inkling until they’re sitting in the back of the van at the first location, huddled close together over a poke bowl.

Andrew can feel Steven’s foot nudging against his, the fabric of his jacket brushing up along Andrew’s arm each time he starts to flail his hands dramatically. There had been distance between them when they first sat down, but it had grown smaller and smaller with each teasing jab. The invisible line that separated them seemed to have just disappeared.

It had been customary, to not sit so close when they didn’t have to. An action that said _we’re just coworkers._

Which, looking back, makes Andrew want to laugh and say _yeah, right._

“Hey—” Steven says, and then pauses, his eyes skirting over Andrew’s face briefly. The cameras are rolling and they’re surrounded by people, but there’s something playful in Steven’s expression, and it nearly knocks Andrew breathless. He looks down, focusing on gathering up rice on his chopsticks, but he tilts his head a little bit, an indication that he’s still listening.

“Let’s give Adam a bite.”

There’s a rush of disappointment that runs through Andrew, which confuses him, because what the hell did he expect Steven to say?

“Oh, yeah. C’mere Adam.” Andrew scoots back a little bit, leaning against Steven as Adam shuffles into frame.

Steven is warm, even through the layers of clothing, and it takes all of Andrew’s willpower not to sink into him completely. He’s so distracted that he almost pokes his chopsticks into Adam’s cheek. But he doesn’t, thankfully, and he can’t help but wonder what they look like right now; Adam’s crowded over him, he’s pressed against Steven, and Steven seems to have no intention of moving away. The fans were going to have a field day with this one.

The thought would probably be hilarious under other circumstances, imagining all the comments talking about how cute and domestic they were, but there’s nothing funny about it to Andrew now.

The only thing Andrew can focus on is how hyper aware he is of Steven, feeling how he shifts against his back, his breath just barely ghosting over the side of Andrew’s throat. Steven brings his hand up, gently pressing the back of it against Andrew’s bicep. Once they review the footage, Andrew’s sure he’ll be able to pinpoint the exact moment his brain short circuits with an unspoken _oh._

The action is probably for balance, just to make sure none of them topple out of the van as Adam leans even closer for the second bite. That’s what Andrew tells himself, at least. Even when Steven gently strokes his knuckles against Andrew’s skin in a short up-and-down motion, it’s for balance.

 

-

 

Personal space doesn’t seem to exist after that. For either of them.

At any given point, on and off camera, they’re huddle closer together than absolutely necessary. Andrew doesn’t even know _why._  It’s not like they’ve talked about it. All that happened is Steven absentmindedly rubbed his hand against Andrew’s arm, and it’s like a switch inside him flipped, making him unable to even function like a normal human being unless he was within a five foot vicinity of Steven.

It’s fucking embarrassing, that’s what what it is.

“Have you noticed something different, about me and Steven?” Andrew asks Adam when they’re organizing the footage at the hotel. They have a few hours to kill before they go to the next location, and Andrew’s head is still reeling from how quickly things seemed to have changed over only a few hours.

“What? No.” Adam doesn’t even look up when he responds, clicking away diligently at his computer. Andrew doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed in Adam’s answer.

“Really?”

“Should I have noticed something?”

That makes Andrew pause, twisting the cord of his headphones around his index finger nervously. It was a typical Adam move; turning the conversation back onto Andrew, coaxing his own emotions out of him. It didn’t help that there was no correct way for Andrew to answer the question without digging himself even further into this hole.

He considers dropping the conversation, muttering a quick _nevermind_ and being done with it, but then Adam is saving his work and giving Andrew his complete undivided attention.

“You know you can talk to me about anything,” he says softly. It makes Andrew want to squirm.

_Okay, I know that, but you really mean to tell me that you haven’t noticed the way Steven and I are practically crawling on top of each other at any given point now?_

“It’s—um… I don’t know. How to describe it.” Andrew rubs at the back of his neck, choosing to ignore the previous thought. “We just, uh, are standing or sitting really close to each other in, like, all of these shots.”

He makes an aborted motion towards his laptop, where the footage from the second location is taking up the majority of the screen. The frame it’s paused on is of the two of them sitting at the table, Steven’s arm thrown across the back of the booth as Andrew leans towards him.

Adam takes one glance at the screen and raises an eyebrow.

“You guys are always close to each other. Have you never noticed before?”

And, yeah, that’s fair. They have to be relatively close to each other when they’re shooting, because they only have a limited amount of space in most of the restaurants. They can’t afford to not halfway cuddle up to each other every now and again.

But this is different. They were sitting in a decently sized booth in that shot. They could have gone the whole meal without touching if they didn’t want to.

“What? I mean, yes, but we’re not usually that close, are we?” Andrew says.

Adam huffs out a small laugh, and just the small sound makes Andrew want to throw himself off the roof of the hotel. Have they really been so obvious for so long? Or, better yet, has Andrew really been so fucking _oblivious_?

“Not in the older episodes, maybe.” Adam leans back in his chair, running his thumb along his bottom lip absentmindedly. “You two have been close since season three, though. Well. Clos _er_.”

Adam’s emphasis on the _er_ does nothing to ease Andrew’s mind.

“I’ve really never noticed,” he admits.

There’s a pause, the brief sound of Steven’s laugh coming in through the walls of their hotel. He’s on the phone with his mom, having promised to call when he got some free time between shoots. Even the muted sound of his voice makes Andrew’s heart flip, which had never happened before today.

The whole thing just makes Andrew’s head hurt.

“I wouldn’t have guessed it. You look at him like he hung up the fucking moon,” Adam says, all nonchalant, and the bluntness of it makes Andrew choke on air.

“Excuse me?” Andrew sputters, heat rushing up to his face faster than he thought was possible.

Adam waves his reaction off, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Andrew doesn’t know if he should find it comforting or infuriating or, perhaps, some odd mixture of both.

“Don’t freak out. Steven looks at you the same way. I’m pretty sure he’s thought the sun’s shone out of your ass since season one.”

_Oh._

“Oh,” Andrew says dumbly. He looks at Adam, searches his calm expression for answers to questions he hasn’t even asked, and then curls his hands into fists,  blunt nails dragging up the fabric of his jeans.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

 

-

 

They’re on camera, barefoot on a public beach as they’re filming the outro, and Andrew doesn’t know when he started thinking like a romantic, but all he wants to do is take Steven’s hand and kiss his knuckles.

 _What the hell, you absolute fucking sap_ ,  Andrew thinks as he watches Steven talk. He can see Adam moving behind them to get more footage other than what’s on the tripod, and Andrew’s sure that he’s got some stupid, lovesick expression on his face, lips parted and eyes wide as he just _looks_ at Steven.

His hair is blond again, having lost most of its silver coloring over the past few months. There’s a soft breeze off the ocean that’s blowing up against them, and Andrew’s caught in the way that it ruffles Steven’s hair every which way. It’s so undeniably cute that Andrew has to force himself not to turn around and walk away, heart pounding erratically in his chest.

“Did you say fright?” Andrew asks after a half beat, only managing to catch the tail end of whatever Steven was saying, too distracted by the way Steven’s skin seems to glow in the early evening light.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at _all_. Steven shouldn’t be able to pull of the beautiful, windswept look. Especially not now, when Andrew is going through some fucked up emotional crisis. It’s just not helping.

“Freight?” Steven says, more of a question than a correction. Like he was unsure himself.

“Oh. Freight.”

“...Freight.”

“Freight.”

Steven looks at him, and Andrew looks back, and then they start laughing together, the sound bubbling up over the crash of the waves on the sand. It’s so stupid and so weirdly domestic, and Andrew so badly wants to reach over, to bridge the gap and _touch_ Steven—

They’re on camera, barefoot on a public beach, with Adam somewhere off to the side filming their every move, but Andrew doesn’t stop himself from bumping his hand against Stevens once, twice, until their fingers are loosely tangled together.

Steven keeps looking at him, smiling wider than Andrew’s ever seen him smile before, and it makes Andrew feel so impossibly giddy and warm.

“Oh,” he murmurs, the outro suddenly thrown to the wind.

“Oh?” Steven repeats. His voice is so soft and gentle, and Andrew shivers when he feels Steven’s thumb run across the back of his hand.

“Yeah,” Andrew says, as if the entire exchange made perfect sense.

And you know what? Maybe it did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated.
> 
> Feel free to point out any mistakes or inaccuracies.
> 
> Come talk to me on my [tumblr](https://worthitandchill.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] let it disappear (i'm right there with you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15407373) by [Shmaylor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmaylor/pseuds/Shmaylor)




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